Sucking heartily on life's half-time oranges

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Telly Fever

Late Kick Off made up for The Football League Show’s slight on our noble character (harping on, like Shrewsbury fans have been via Twitter, the unsporting rogues, about that 'phantom goal' when we played each other that apparently cost them promotion. Pfftth.) by featuring Wycombe more heavily. Here's a brief, MOTD-style report:

Embarrassment of the day: BBC Breakfast presenter Bill Turnbull – how is this man our most famous fan?  He’s such a holy fool. He gasped that there were ‘millions of people here!’ and finished his piece with ‘my shirt smells of beer; smells of victory’. Get back to the morning sofa, Bill for your discussions on Eastenders plots and  lead ‘Did Tupperware change womens’ lives?’ debates (I kid you not.!). Ugh.

Most amusing moment: Gary Waddock, whilst being interviewed, and with the girlish screams of the lads celebrating in the dressing room behind him, being splattered right across the face with champagne (at least I assume it was champagne; this being Wycombe it was probably discounted Asti Spumante). Sort of like a submissive girl in a heartily liberal face-cum shot from, ooo, just about every porn movie going.

Shirtwatch: Sir Gareth of Ainsworth was in the studio for the show, and sported a daringly - some might say licentiously - unbuttoned darkish blue number, revealing a quite alarming amount of chest. Complete with the crosses round his neck, ravaged features and quite ludicrously Viking-esque locks, he IS (a Lancashire version of) Aragon! Like a lower league Ryan Giggs, he's ploughing on into another season as he stares down his forties... what a champ!

1 comment:

  1. The champagne was probably Asti Spunkante (you should see the other gags I write for Michael McIntyre), certainly Lewis Montrose was left looking like he had been in a marathon bukake sesh as well.

    Ballroom Bill has his foibles, eccentricities and sold his soul to mindless breakfast TV, but at least he's no Jim Davidson-type odious character.