Sucking heartily on life's half-time oranges

Monday, 31 January 2011

Sky's The Limit

So, the talk this week is all ‘bah, humbug’ to those hoary old granddads at Sky, Andy Gray and latterly Richard Keys, who jumped before he was pushed, hopefully off a cliff into a slavering pack of feminists ready to bash his misogynist brains out a bit with some homemade placards. Is everyone getting a bit too excited over a couple of daft off-the-cuff (or below-the-sweaty-belt) remarks? Even if so, it’s like Big Bad Ron a few years ago: no matter whether the comments are meant for public consumption or not, if you’re revealed to be a lumpen caveman-type with prejudiced views, you probably have to go.

I wasn’t so comfortable with those who defended Sian Massey’s marginally correct offside decision as something of a miracle, with a sort of ‘what a clever girl!’ tone as if to prove her worth. She’s a qualified official, and like most linos will mostly get things right, and probably occasionally wrong. And when she does stick her flag up too hurriedly, I look forward to the sound of the crowd shouting horrible abuse at her. Just in a totally non-gender-specific way.

It’s impressive that the media across the board are largely in support of the sacking, even The Sun, whose self-aggrandizing trumpetings of 'SEXIST SHAME' I read at the weekend whilst waiting for a supremely chillified kebab in Camberwell; sadly, this newfound ardour for equal rights was a leetle dampened by the sight of the near-naked airbrushed lassie on page 3; the numbshits.

In much more important news, WWFC are now sitting on the right hand side of Chesterfield’s throne in 2nd. Get in!

Monday, 3 January 2011

Footywatch 2011

Ah, 2011, what leather-bound, spherical-shaped joys shall you bring to us? First of all there's a few promising signs from the Beeb:

Presenters: Gabby Logan has been doing an excellent job in taking the edge off the smug, lads-on-a-Costa-Del-Sol-stag-mini-break feel of the Gary-Alan-Alan formation. Plus she has great new hair!

Shirts: Startlingly, Alan Shearer's recent number was plain black with a glaring lack of epaulettes, frills, pocket detail or piping. Has someone had a word? Happily, another sofa-expert did the honours. Lawro, a tip if I may: you're supposed to wear the shirt your wife got you for Christmas, not the wrapping paper it came in...

Pundits: The QPR's Neil Warnock was great fun last night, with a refreshing Northern 'football's great, in't it?' enthusiasm and cheerfulness that knocked spots off MOTD2s oft-also-rans. However he did often forget to finish his sentences ('they've got a fantastic - ') and say, with not exactly medical precision, 'It was so exciting I wish I'd had one of them pulse things for your heart', so there's still some work to be done.

In other New Year news, Wycombe are up to THIRD after a 2-1 win at Cheltenham, whoopee! So 2011 shall obviously, no doubt about it, it's a sure-fire thing, rest assured, be back in League One with the big boys (well, the boys who've lost their milk teeth and have started thinking girls aren't totally disgusting) come August. Elsewhere, the multifariously-tattooed wonder-god who is David Beckham may come to London, in which case I shall bunk off work one Saturday in order to go to White Hart Lane/Upton Park plaintively holding up a homemade sign saying 'I HEART DAVID'...