Sucking heartily on life's half-time oranges

Friday, 10 December 2010

Boyz in the Snood

There's been a lot of posturing machismo steaming up the studios and interview rooms with its musk-reeking, nostril-flaring harrumphing in the last two weeks. The ones who consider themselves Men rather than Boys are collectively scoffing at the latest Premiership fashion: the snood. A winner in the cross-breeding of winterwear where glarfs and balaclamuffs have failed, the scarf-hood combo (last seen about my neck in the year of 1988, when I sported a bottle-green one whilst skipping to primary school) has taken off bigstyle. This has caused the Proper Men to (whilst holding a pint of ale, scratching their virile bollocks and doing some bare-chested bricklaying, I expect) declare things like:

'You won't catch Man United players wearing a snood' - Rio Ferdinand
'Real men don't wear things like that. They're for powder puffs' Alex Ferguson

Elsewhere Lawro and Alan Shearer gamely tested them out on Football Focus, whilst declaring they felt like 'right nancies' and Roy Keane has threatened to tear the throat of any Ipswich player who wears one with own his slavering gnashers, whilst he stands proudly naked in the snow because he can TAKE IT. Probably.

Hhm. Mefears a little bit of metrosexual-phobia amongst the great and good... are they feeling a bit threatened by some players' unabashed accessory-adornments ('powder puffs'? I ask you)? What's it to them if some players, being a wee bit chilly in the quite genuinely hibernal conditions, cover their necks with a bit of all-in-one wool? Fair play, I say. The sponsors should leap on the chance to emblazon more merch - next up: fur-lined over-short thongs proudly displaying 'Le coq sportif'.

Elsewhere: was this the best FA Cup match in terms of incidents ever? Two hat-tricks, a last-gasp equaliser, four sendings-off after brutal fouls, a penalty, and six goals in extra-time. Brilliant!