Sucking heartily on life's half-time oranges

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Hair Here

Here is Gareth Ainsworth, brought in by the gaffer and one of those real-live honest journeymen: before his long stint at QPR he trod the turf at Wimbledon (the old school version), Port Vale, Lincoln, Cardiff and more. He is WWFC's new no. 31 and a fizzy little fella if ever there was one, catching the eye at the Millwall game with his feisty turns down the right wing. He made a real difference in our first win in three millennia or whatever it was, and won man of the match in YES! our next win on Tuesday at home against Brentford. We have now risen to third from bottom, which feels as lofty as sitting on a little heavenly cloud strumming an Irish harp and eating manna. Gareth even gave us a classic quote on the WWFC website to rival Alan Green's one about 'the rush of Seamen', saying cheerfully after his busy few days on the pitch: 'I'm as stiff as a board!'. Glad to know he enjoys it to such lengths. Etc. BUT I have one problem with Gareth and that is his hair. As any fool know, men + short hair = lovely; men + long hair = AESTHETIC DISASTER OF EPIC PROPORTIONS (there are two exceptions to the rule: Viggo Mortensen in the Lord of the Rings movies and Torres, rrrr...). Poor Gareth is no Fernando and with his attempt at the Italian stallion (circa 1995) is only holding himself back. Pray, compare his current look with one, though admittedly a bit of a teddy-boy-for-the-noughties sort of vibe, of old to the right, to see my point aptly proved.

P.S. Chairboys Gasroom readers will no doubt disapprove of this sort of thing, but give over, I am a GIRL! My thanks to those nice chaps on correcting my stats gaffs which are being duly corrected. I don't have time to get all my facts right as I'm usually doing my nails and dribbling all over shots of Torres. Arf.

1 comment:

  1. Great stuff as usual. I'm not one for blokes with gratuitously long hair, but you could hardly say Sergio Torres has long flowing locks. A modern day Darren Peacock he is not, though I concede he is more likely to induce fits of dribbling for chronic nail pruners.

    And why the shame in brackets after you mention our glorious nickname?!